Balancing the Shadow and Light

“Always think happy thoughts”

“Positive Vibes Only”

“I want nothing but positive vibes surrounding me”

“Just be positive”

Sound familiar? I hear this all the time in the new age spiritual community…

If you’re new to the awakening process or a seasoned spiritual traveler you will probably hear this often if not all the time!

The new age concept, or what I call the “positivity movement,” is complete bullshit.

Just take a look at it from a grounded point of view first. We are humans first and foremost right now on this planet. That means we do human things and have human emotions and feelings every single day. While feeling positive is one of them, we are not meant to be in that state constantly. It’s unrealistic.

We feel a spectrum of emotions and feelings in a day. To only honor and allow the “feel good” ones is really doing us a disservice to our human experience and personal growth. We shut down an entire side to our being by ignoring the darkness! You are not honoring nor accepting yourself as you are if you do not accept all emotions and all parts of yourself.

By “darkness” I mean the shadow self, the parts of ourselves that we find displeasing and what society deems unacceptable. Our flaws, the parts of ourselves we dislike, our feelings that hurt such as anger, sadness, or fear. The parts of other people we are judging and find unflattering and unacceptable as well.

Yes, our feelings don’t always feel the greatest but they’re there for a reason. Our emotions are trying to get our attention. There is something that has wounded us, triggered us, overstepped our boundaries, or hurt our feelings and we need to witness it.

We naturally ebb and flow with our energy and our emotions from moment to moment. We all have high moments and low moments that can vary throughout a day. However high you go, you can feel just as low at some point. Trying to keep a high is disowning a part of yourself.

At the beginning of an awakening journey you may swing back and forth from extremely high to extremely low, like a pendulum, until you create balance within yourself at the center. Feel the feeling that is coming up fully. Don’t push it down or mask it or try to ignore it with distractions.

What we really need is balance.

Balance is what we should be striving for, not just positivity. Positivity is only one aspect of the whole. Balance within equals balance outside. Balance is where we find acceptance and peace for ourselves at the heart of it all.

We all have darkness and we all have light within us. Nothing is “good” or “bad” it just is. There are no “negative” emotions, or just “positive” ones. They are just “emotions.” They are there to alert us to something deeper going on. Assigning good or bad to the emotion is judging the process.

Yes, they can affect our vibration. When in a state of low vibration too long our body starts to respond with aliments and diseases. When in a high vibration too long you may crash and burn or develop spiritual ego. But we must honor the low vibes too. We are always where we need to be in any state.

When your strong emotions appear make some time to sit with them. Be your own friend. Have a chat with yourself. Ask questions. What emotion am I feeling? What is triggering me to feel like this? What memory comes with this emotion? Why does it hurt so bad? Are you feeling vulnerable? This is how you get to the root of your triggers when your emotions become noticeable and you want to react suddenly instead of observe.

Feel into the emotion. Allow them to surface and accept them as a part of you. Embrace yourself. ALL of yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. You’re a human. Be a human. The more human you are the more your authentic self emerges, and with that the more you live from your soul self in balance.

You don’t need to drown the darkness in light. You don’t need to replace negativity with positivity. You bring the darkness to the light. Like an offering.

“The dark and the light, they exist side by side. Sometimes overlapping, one explaining the other. The darkened path is as illuminated as the lightened…”

Raven Davies