Over the past month, I’ve been working on what feels like a new me emerging. My perspective has been changing with speed about a lot of different things (my ego is taking a step back) and I feel like my path is becoming clearer. I’ve been taking the time to listen, pay attention to the signs, push it away (per usual me) and then finally embrace it and feel that whole-body yes!
I spent all of 2019 diving into my inner world in ways like I never have before. I believe this past year has been my cocoon year. The year of creating my chrysalis and transforming. I faced deep triggers and wounds stemming from the beginning that I only scratched the surface with before.
I’ve come to notice that there are a few stages of healing/mental and emotional recovery. Developing awareness comes first. Which very much feels like healing in and of itself. Then there’s the inner work. The painful truths and feelings that need to be felt and worked through. Then accepting it and moving on. Not easy, that’s for sure.
My ascension started in 2012. Or at least that’s when I first noticed it. I have always been connected to the other side as far back as I can remember. As I child I noticed that I could predict things and used that to get myself out of trouble many times. As a teen, I was around a few psychics. My mother was into this stuff and because of her books and her contacts, I was involved as well. I can’t remember how I became interested in tarot, but I remember getting myself a deck and doing readings for all my friends as a teenager. I was always accurate despite not really knowing what I was doing compared to now. I used to freak my friends out at sleepovers predicting when “ghosts” were around and then something would fall or make a noise and scare everyone. Everyone believed me and I believed myself.
But it wasn’t until 2015 that my awakening happened, and I started to become aware of my inner pain and how much it affected me and those around me. I’ve been working on “not hurting anymore” and getting to the root of my issues ever since but nothing like I have this year. Looking back, I’m not even the same person anymore. Survival me is quite embarrassing.
But this new year is all about empowerment. I can feel it.
Just this past week has felt like a massive shift happened for me. And of course, the things in my life correspond to my path and I take it as signs from the Universe that things are going according to plan.
We took our daughter to see Frozen 2 this weekend and boy was that movie synchronicity to everything I have been feeling lately!
See, Earth has been calling to me. She has all along but this time it’s louder than usual. I keep getting this vision of me, or a version of me, walking across some land out in nature, barefoot, my clothes blowing in the wind, as I answer this “call.” Similar to Elsa hearing the call in Frozen. I kneel and then place my hands on the ground. I stretch my hands out as far as I can with my fingers in the dirt. I see energy or roots coming from my hands out into the Earth. And then I scream. I scream in the most terrifying sound like in a horror movie. It just echoes through myself. I also sense the elementals all around me. The elementals are calling to me, too. Just like Elsa.
I have this deep desire to help others, to help others in pain and feeling alone like I was, and with this deeper connection with Earth developing, I know exactly what it means. I’m being called to a shamanic type path. The ancient ways are calling to me. A native American guide has showed up as well. His name is Shane for short because I can’t spell what it really is. It’s pronounced Shun-nuk-ah-kuk. He’s teaching me to listen to the lands for messages and guidance. I know him from a past life where he was my guide showing me the ways as I grew up in the native American culture being raised as a shaman from birth during the time of the ghost dance. I also have many animal guides helping me as well. I had wondered why they have all showed up like they have and have lingered for years but now I know why. I have an army of animals it seems around me. Fox, tigress, elk, owl, hawk, and eagle.
At first, I was being called to take the beginning steps towards my purpose at the same time as my awakening started. But all this time I couldn’t find my exact path. My guides have suggested a little of everything, but nothing stuck for long. I have an ancient soul and have lived many lives in many realms and they’ve showed me I’m like a many faced being. I have experience with a little of everything. But this feels like the way in this lifetime. I know it’s controversial. I do not belong to a tribe and I have not been trained by a shaman yet, but I feel the call.
Watching Frozen 2 solidified it for me 😊. Frozen 1 touched me deeply. I saw that with my daughter around the time that my healing journey began. It was about letting go. Which was exactly what I had to do and have been working on all this time. Frozen 2 is about stepping into your power. The same energy I’m feeling for me this new year and decade. That movie had everything in it I’ve been sensing and feeling, and I came out of that theater with a deeper sense of purpose thanks to Disney! Funny how things work out like that.
This is going to be the year I step into my power. Rise above my pain. Connect with my spirituality deeper. Take the steps towards my destiny. This year I will finally understand who I am in ways I couldn’t before. I think I’ve cleared enough of the pain away to be able to finally see who I really am to some extent. I can feel the energy already. This isn’t just for me; this is for everybody. The up-level for humanity’s ascension is here. Change is coming.
Thank you for reading my ramblings and being on this journey with me. ❤